007. First Person Spotlight Effect

They’re probably not thinking about you, and that’s a great thing. Let me tell you why. 

The other week at the gym, I was stationed on the leg press machine, modestly lifting my 3 to 4 plates on each side. Beside me, however, is a mammoth of a man, loading up every single available 45-pound plate in the building onto his leg press. 

I couldn’t help but count… 24 plates in total or 1,080 pounds to be exact.

Ridiculous right? It looked absurd. However, he seemed like the kind of guy that would actually lift it - not resorting to the half-hearted reps that the leg press machine often sees.

He begins to wrap his knees with braces, then pace around the machine while his workout buddy encouraged him by slapping him on the back and getting him amped up.

I pause and think to myself, “I have to watch this, I must see him make this lift.”

But as I became engrossed in my own world - listening to my music, focusing on my lifts, and paying attention to all the other voices in my head - I realized moments later that they were already unracking their weights. I had missed it. 

It was a real life example of what psychologists call the “spotlight effect.” Trusty ol’ Wikipedia defines it as “the psychological phenomenon by which people tend to believe they are being noticed more than they really are. Being that one is constantly in the center of one's own world, an accurate evaluation of how much one is noticed by others is uncommon.” 

I was so consumed by my own world that I had overlooked the very event unfolding beside me. On the other hand, he was so immersed in his own world, under the impression all eyes were on him; loading up the machine, pacing around the gym, receiving “encouragement slaps” from his friend. He thought the entire world was watching. 

In reality, while I noticed those things, I (the closest witness in the gym) failed to observe the most important part of it all, the lift. Truth be told, I would have forgotten this whole event if not for wanting to write about it. So here we are.

Once you realize that people aren’t scrutinizing your flaws, imperfections, and even your greatest feats, it frees you to pursue your ambitions without inhibition. It’s encouragement to chase after the dreams and goals that truly matter to you. 

It’s an old cliche to not let the opinions of others hold you back. Easier said than done. However, once you see the spotlight effect in effect first hand…you notice it everywhere. 

So launch that business you’ve been hesitant on because of your parent’s expectations, post that video that’s rotting in your drafts because you’re scared of your friend's judgment, and just go for it. Because at the end of the day, NO ONE is thinking that much about you anyway. We’re all too preoccupied with our own stuff to notice or care. 

Tell me that’s not the most freeing feeling you come across today.